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Click on the varigated lilacs below for the current published collection of ‘for 5,’
a collection of 5-minute videos, each will somehow enhance your life.

For Five Tile



Dogs and Serviceberries


I was waiting outside my building entrance yesterday for someone to arrive. A man was approaching on the sidewalk, walking his Airedale. Being a dog lover, I recognize when a dog wants to say, “Hi!” So I whispered to the dog, “Hi there.” The man paused long enough for me to ask, “May I say hi to your dog?” He said yes and let the leash out. I bent down to pet his dog. 

210714 Dogs Berries

So happy was the dog that he wanted to jump on me. And so big was he that he could have reached my shoulders had I not blocked him. Of course, the man said, “Stay down.” Without any thought, I said, “Not to worry, I’ll help him stay down.” I later realized that I had worked my left thumb under his collar to make sure his feet stayed on the ground.

What delighted me was this less-than-a-minute exchange resulted in the man thanking me, and he meant it. I said, “Oh, thank you for giving me my dog fix for the day.”

Serviceberry bushes are everywhere these days but often unacknowledged until they become an obstacle. The serviceberry bush or tree is the first to blossom in the spring, offers shade when it’s hot, grows wood hard enough to use, say for an arrow, and bestows us with medicinal benefits, had we not placed our focus on synthetic pharmaceuticals. While not the first pick of the berries, their berries are edible and can carry humans, animals, and birds through autumn and into winter. Their fall foliage offers colors that seem otherworldly.

Dogs are everywhere these days but often unacknowledged until they become an obstacle. Dogs, and in particular puppies, are the first to celebrate and become excitable in the spring. A dog offers companionship when we’re alone, growls just enough to be protective, often sensing what we can’t, and bestows us with medicinal benefits when we are sensitive enough to feel the release of oxytocin or activation of the calming branch of the vagal nerve. All this happens whether we let them lick our face or just hang with them. While walking your dog may not the first choice in having fun, the routine of walking has lasting health benefits. And picking up after them reminds us to care for our environment with consideration for others. Their brown-eyed looks offer moments of connection that seem otherworldly.

If you have a dog, you are fortunate. Perhaps you can feel that now. I used to have serviceberry bushes and dogs. And I felt blessed in what I had before they left or I left them.

Grief


While listening to a therapist and author of many books on the hypnotic therapeutic interventions of Milton H. Erickson, I heard the therapist question whether or not grief had a purpose. While he felt that depression, sadness, despair, and other negative emotions have purposes, he left a question mark next to grief. 

205015 Grief

If you know me, you know that I believe any quality or qualitative experience, positive or negative, has an inherent positive intention or contains relevant information. So, having felt grief recently myself, I decided to explore what grief might offer me and the gift it brings.

I'll begin by distinguishing grief from sadness. With any loss, there is sadness, a feeling similar to grief. With sadness comes a subtle sense that one can or could have done something about the loss. Be that true or not, this feels genuine and is a component of sadness. Grief, on the other hand, is final. There is no disputing, changing, or choice around the loss.

I have not yet received grief's gift related to the recent death of my mother. When she comes to mind presently, I still see her in an acute-care bed struggling to stay alive. What I need to do now is pull up the image of her paddling a canoe on Lake McDonald in Glacier National Park, a female mallard swimming next to her. I can recall her on her 90th birthday, effusively smiling in a restaurant, flaunting a gifted scarf. I can remember seeing her swat away assistance from a caregiver -- she was feisty and fiercely independent even at 95.

When these memories come to mind automatically and the not-so-pleasant memories begin to linger in obscurity, a smile will be born on my lips each time I think of her. And I will know that I'm am moving through grief.

Here is a family story about grief. Over twenty years ago, my mother took my Alzheimer's father to a care facility, finally. The 'experts' there told her, "We'll distract him. You slip out the front door and leave." As my mother drove away and looked in her rearview mirror, she saw my father's white fingers grasping the wire fence and the look of terror in his eyes. My mother held on to that image for ten years, for each time she thought of him, a tsunami of tears and regret overcame her. 

Then my mother moved into a retirement community, which meant she downsized her living space. A lovely picture of my father now hung where she could hardly not look at it many times throughout the day. In the portrait, my father has a slight, angelic smile on his face. His smile is one he rarely wore while alive; still, it was him at his finest.

Father's Mona-Lisa smile eroded my mother's miserable memory bit by bit, placing my father into her heart so that she associated him with treasured moments. When I noticed this, I knew she had moved through grief. She could recall him and talk about him with a deep fondness.

For me, grief's gifts are twofold: Loss gives occasion to place the departed in our heart in such a way that the thought of them leads to a sense of connection and joy and a smile. Then, it solidifies an energetic relationship to that person, pet, place, or piece of ourselves. The physical attribute may be gone, but the spirit and essence live on forever.

This energetic connection that dwells in our heart is a constant infusion of security, companionship, love, and, as with a pet, pure devotion.

How does this happen? Here is something to know about memory and memories. 

"Research into the molecular mechanism of memory and learning reveals that whenever we recall a scene — or retrieve a certain memory to our conscious mind — we disrupt it, and by doing so, we alter it forever. Our memories are not like old books in the library, lying there dusty and unchanged; they are rather like a living, breathing entity. What we remember today of our past is in fact a product of editing and reshaping that occurs over the years whenever we recall that particular memory.”

  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find — and Keep — Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller


I do not think the editing and reshaping take years.

The death of someone we loved profoundly leaves little time or distance to traverse to place them in our hearts. When I put my little dog Rosie down, I felt grief for the average time of six to twelve weeks. Now I think of her and smile at every memory, even ones in which I was furious at her. The pain is gone.

Have you ever attended the funeral of someone who was a despicable, cantankerous person? That person's worst critic may be professing them suddenly as the most gracious and forgiving person on earth. The finality of death and the transformation of the deceased is a mysterious thing. You may absorb yourself in trying to explain this with or without resolution. Memory edits may occur instantly or be like chiseling a massive headstone by hand. Moving beyond grief may take hours, days, weeks, or months until you notice a sense of love and appreciation has indeed replaced the pain.

If you are a religious or spiritual person, you may recognize that what we place in our hearts as remembrance is likely how that soul or aspect is on 'the other side.' We sense and capture the evolution of their soul or energy.

Many things in life take leave -- a family member, friend, pet, domicile, favorite possession, ability, opportunity, identity, status, sense of being a part of a couple or team, metaphoric home, direction, faith, appetite, and more. One does not know one has crossed grief's finish line because there are no ribbons, no rituals unless you conduct one for yourself.

Should you put closure to one or something departed with a goodbye ritual, you will need a ritual of hello to welcome what is filling the void. It is best to fill negative space with conscious intent, calling in something positive and detailed and big-picture.

Again, the purpose of grief is to associate the lost being or entity with loving feelings and to solidify our energetic or spirit connection with them. There is no taking these two gifts away once you've received them. They may seem too subtle to substantiate, but in truth, they are everything. Only a grieving or having-grieved person would realize this.

Sitting . . .


210501 Sitting ... blog

You sit at your computer with your hand on your mouse or pad, scrolling. If you have specific sites you like to visit, they can become habitual. They become more and more comfortable for you, so much so, you kind of go into a daydream-like space, a daytime trance. You've been in trance before, like when you're so absorbed in a movie that when someone says something to you, you don't hear them. 'Like that.

And here, gazing at the screen, you know how to be just-right relaxed. And you know further how to make any sort of adjustments that provide you with even more comfort. You can sit like you are, staring at a line of text or a graphic in front of you, focusing on whatever in a soft way.

And as you read some text, you may only half pay attention because you are only a little interested or a little bit curious or it holds only a little value for you. Settling into this right now can allow your mind and body to relax so that you go further into a state of non-doing and non-being. 

I don't know what it would take for something to really excite you. If something came along that was novel and new, that held great potential, or that felt like a profound gift from the Universe, well, that might wake you up. That can ignite a spark in you and could snap you into a sharp focus, wouldn't it. But would it be radical enough for you to do something, something else? Only you know.

One part of you is in this zoned-out habit, while another part of you has another pattern of grabbing the moment and going for what you want because sooner than later, you do something. You take action. You've taken action in the past; you can do something now; you'll likely take added steps in the future. The complexity of grabbing one idea and turning it into something real allows for putting together just how it is you manifest for yourself precisely what you want — step by step or in one fell swoop.


What if you could take significant action right now, right here? What possibilities might open up for you? What might be the impact on yourself and others?

— Kris Kramer, Coach


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The Next Hero's Journey


Okay, I’ve moved to Chicago. My life has certainly changed. For one, I was outside, like outdoors in the open, for a whole ten minutes today. In Montana, I would have walked in the woods twice that long first thing in the morning, just for starters. With a dog or two. No dogs here. Actually, there are dogs everywhere. They’re just not mine. But in a way, they are because I see them, I hear them, I am drawn to them, they say hi to me with their eyes and tail. 

HJ 1

I’m so excited. I have no specifics. I’m excited about all the options. The potential. The vast unexplored expanse ahead of me. Again, no specifics.

Here I am at the beginning of the next hero’s journey, starting out with meager belongings in the pack on my back. I’m humming to myself as I go along on my path. There have been so few bumps, I’ve become a believer that the Universe is placing a stepping stone just before each foot lands. If I tried to write my story to date, you’d think I was a crazy-imaginative storyteller capable of well suspending your belief in reality. Knock on wood; the obstacles have been few. 

HJ 2


If (when) an obstacle comes along, I’m not quite past the point in my life where I would not reach out to a mentor or a guru. So, I find a resourceful person and ask for help. This feels good. 


HJ 3

This guru will teach me things on all levels. I can relax, but not. Gurus and masters throughout time have guided seekers to look within rather than outside of themselves for solutions. One can resist inner knowing for as many lives as one wishes, but there is no outlasting it. 


HJ 4

Then comes the test. And that will feel really awful, like when you gain full-sail confidence only to have the Universe tear you down with a humbling experience. You have to eat crow. I love crows and ravens, so this is extra horrible.


In the darkest moment, right before I give up, when I’m beginning to orient myself to cutting losses and crawling in a hole, forever, I will make some adjustment which surprisingly advances me. "Oh!" I’ll think. "I am beginning to understand." Ka-chink, ka-chink, ka-chink. The pieces begin to fall into place. One last attempt and I win the inner battle. I’m different now though. I’ve marked another notch in my Wisdom belt.

HJ 5


I will repeat over and over what it was I learned. Though forgetting seems impossible, it is not. I might even label that notch. Then, looking back I will be struck with a blinding-light revelation — Universe had been inching me along this path for quite a while now. In installments. I don't know about you, but it typically takes me five significant inner battles before the learning is fully integrated into my being.


Then, I go back home. Why? I’m not sure. Am I supposed to tell my story to others? Why? Do I qualify as a guru now? It would do no good to share my learnings. Humans learn by going on their unique journey, fighting their own battles, and having their personal revelations.

No one person’s journey is exactly like another because everyone has had individual experiences throughout their many lifetimes which have resulted in the need for different lessons and goals. 

— The Arcturian Group 4/25/21

Regardless, here I go. Walking along. In Chicago. 'Amid pigeons picking at trash at the intersection, inches off the curb and one foot from whizzing cars. 'Among people who are incredibly friendly once you begin a conversation, otherwise I pass them on the street without looking up. I live in an apartment and hear my neighbors' sounds and know their taste in music and recognize their dog by its bark but never know with whom I am living. Oh well, here I go. All is proceeding according to plan. Not mine. The Universe’s.




Safety & Connection Breath




It turns out a breath delivers more than oxygen. The way one breathes can alter one's physiology, by choice or not. The simple exhale in this process can result in calmness and a sense of safety found in connection with others. As an introvert and highly sensitive, learning about the Polyvagal Theory, and this breath enhanced my life.

Video Transcript

Hi Everyone. Kris here. Today's 'for 5' is called "Safety & Connection Breath." I will describe a breathing exercise to use whenever and wherever you want to feel safe, calm, and connected with others. In its extreme and used by experts in their fields, it has helped survivors of long-term traumatic events re-enter into a healthy life.

I would love to ramble on about the PolyVagal Theory (PVT); instead, for the sake of time, I will refer you books by Steven Porges for a technical read and Deb Dana for a smoother, more practical read. This particular breathing pattern comes more directly from the field of Somatic Experiencing and experts such as Dr. Peter Levine.

The vagus nerve connects to your vocal cords and the muscles at the back of your throat. Singing, humming, and chanting activate these muscles, stimulating your vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is complex, organized into three branches, and the subject of much research these days. One of these branches, the Ventral Vagal Nerve, is part of the parasympathetic system and is activated or stimulated when you feel safe and connected socially. Reversely, one can activate it by the breath to change one's internal state to a state of feeling okay, secure, and connected with others.

Here is how it goes. First, notice when you might have a little concern or fear going. Take a normal inhale or inhale a little more breath than you usually would.

Then as you exhale, release your breath slowly while looking down and say the word 'Vu' softly while making the sound of a distant foghorn in the back of your throat. As you exhale, change the Vu to Ohm.

It will sound and look like this. VUVUUUVUUU —Ooooohhhmmmm

One or two of these breaths will be all it takes to return to being neutral and calm and be capable of relational presence.

Explore using this breath. Try it the next time you feel adrenaline, emotionally tweaked, fearful, or any other intensely negative emotion. You will likely find a way to do this without others noticing. Modify it in each situation you find yourself. You can even do it soundlessly in your mind, and it is still effective.

This breathwork is a form of self-regulation, that is your ability to monitor and manage your energy state, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in acceptable ways that produce positive results for learning, well-being, and loving relationships. It might be fun and useful to teach it your child or children.

Self-regulation tends to regulate those around you. Or, it causes those around you to self-regulate themselves.

I encourage you to explore how self-regulation impacts those around you. Experimenting with the breath can be rather fun. I once did this safety and connection breath in a packed restaurant, where I had to practically yell to be heard by the person sitting across from me. At the end of two long exhales, I swear everyone chilled out, and the room's sound level dropped a few decibels.

So that's it. Have fun with it.

Advice and Advise


I will admit to a couple of events in a day, each reminding me to stand fully in my power in a heart-centered way.


Person Demean climbing smaller


One is when I have negative thoughts or words about someone. If I were secure in my self, I would not need to think less of someone else.

Person Demean advising smaller


And the other is when I find myself giving advice. First, I hated receiving advice. Now I hate giving advice. More so, I hate myself when I advise. Hate is not too strong a word here. There is always a pedestal involved.

Person Demean descend left smaller


Reminders. When I tune into one reminder or the other, I try to come up with a way to share without demeaning another or others. 

Person Demean sharing smaller


I want to share to connect.

Cross Crawls



Did you know that when one is stressed the non-dominant side of the brain stops working as usual? Here is a verbal and physical exercise that one can do to connect the right side of one's brain with the left for more functionality. This exercise also allows one to lower stress, repair dyslexic moments, and get back on track when feeling a little off. The activity also boosts physical energy.

Click on each graphic below to download. Have them available to view when watching the video.

Video Transcript

Hi Everyone. Kris here. Today's 'for 5' is called "Cross Crawls." Cross Crawls is a fun mental and physical activity that is suitable anywhere there is room to stand up and move around. It's useful for your self by your self, and it's even more fun in a group. It connects the left side of your brain with the right side of your brain through the area called the corpus callosum. 

The primary function of the corpus callosum is to integrate motor, sensory, and cognitive performance. It interconnects the brain's two hemispheres, the cerebral cortex on one side of the brain, and the same region on the other. When one is stressed, the side of the brain that is not the dominant side typically shuts down.

So in answer to the question, when to do it, you can do it anytime. In particular, you can do this when you need to lower your stress, when your dyslexia shows itself, or when you are feeling a little off. The activity itself raises your physical energy.

First, you need a graphic that everyone can see. You can make your own. Divide a piece of paper or poster board into five rows and six columns like this. Write in the letters of the alphabet, as you can see. Under each letter, write an L, an R, or a plus sign. L is for left; R for right; a Plus Sign is for both left and right. The only restriction is to not put an L under the letter R or an R under the letter L. Plus Signs go the best under those two letters, R and L.

Okay, now you are ready. You can sit or stand. Read and say the alphabet out loud. Raise your left hand when there is an L under the letter. Raise your right hand when there is an R. Raise both hands when there is a Plus Sign. Do it with me here.

How'd it go? Did you mess up [like I did]? I would expect so. What did you do when you messed up? Did you laugh and catch up? Great.

Okay, that was Cross Crawls 101.

This next time, when you raise your right hand, raise your left leg or foot. And when you raise your left hand, raise your right leg or foot. It is like crawling. And on the plus sign, raise everything. Again, you may be sitting. If you are standing, jump up with your arms raised. Let's try it again.

You can imagine how fun this would be with a group of kids, right? 

[If you or anyone wants more challenge, speed up the tempo of saying the alphabet.]

If you use one of these graphics, the alphabets, too often, your unconscious mind will begin to memorize it, believe it or not. So make a new one, changing the L's and R's and +'s around.

So that's it. Have fun while tuning up your brain!

Balancing Head and Heart


I wrote a little about this in a previous blog called “Daily Sharing.” Below is a draft of the text associated with this card or chapter from my book Sitting with the Within Masters.

Habits - Head &/or Heart

The head is the mind; the heart is the soul. There is usually a propensity in any encounter to default to one or the other. Knowledge and perception live in the head, and these are not the same. A person totally in their mind is logical, reason-dependent, loves everything explained, is systematic, and to Others can feel perhaps a little cool in demeanor. They think, think, think, know things, and love algorithms. Ego may live in the head.

Love lives in the heart. A person totally in their heart is intuitive or tuned into one’s body, more emotive, caring, generous in compassion and care. They feel and appreciate things and love heuristics, which are assumptions that tend to simplify things in order to lead to desired outcomes. Desires and outcomes in the heart are most often not concrete or tangible.

Of course this is an oversimplification. What might be more useful is to consider the benefit of balancing the head and heart. 

Head and Heart

Say one wants to deliver some news or information or make a request of someone. 

If one is totally in their head and communicates information, this may land on the recipient like a cold fish. Information is just information. As the recipient receives information as knowledge, or not, the knowing can be rejected, filed away with tons of other heady stuff, or welcomed to fill in gaps in mental inventory. If the Other has asked for the information it is likely received well. If the Other has not asked and is fed information, then they may feel belittled or disrespected.

If one is totally in their heart and communicates from that actual location in the body, this lands on the recipient like a warm quilt of beautiful shapes and colors. This may feel good, like it’s time to relax into safety and security. Warm and fuzzy won’t sail a ship, solve a problem, even cross the street. But dang, it feels good.

If one drops down from the head and rises up from the heart, one can express one’s Self from the balance point. That point is physically the throat but in truth it is a third state-of-being. What is born then may come out via the voice box — the place of free-will and self-expression — in a manner full of positive (heart) intent (mind) that is respectful and loving.

Therefore, that which is communicated from a point of balance between head and heart will likely be received well, then fully realized in the Other. The manner in which the message is delivered is experiential in nature; that is, it is delivered in a way that involves or relates to the Other's experience — full of personal sensation and state-of-being driven. It has a better chance of touching the Other’s a mind and soul and making a deeper impact. The chances for an aha moment increase. The moment of sharing and connection holds potential for intersubjective experience and cooperation and co-evolution.

So far all talk has been of communication. What if one lived each moment in a head-heart balance? How might that change things?

Pardon the Interruption


Why would a coach interrupt a client? Imagine a coaching session that is moving along. The coach is asking questions; the client is answering them. The client then feels a need to explain why they did this or that, why they feel this or that way, and the history of what happened to them. Basically, they begin going into the story along with the meaning they’ve given to each and every bit of it.

PtI Conv


As they go into their story, they fall off track for what they wanted. 

PtI Falling off track


It is here that the coach may interrupt the client, with or without an explanation (hope not), or with a new question. An example of a long-winded interruption is this.

Pardon the interruption. With your permission, … part of my job as your coach is to keep you moving forward toward what you want, your vision. You’ve begun to stray into what you want to move away from. While an 'away-from' and a ‘toward’ are essential components of motivation, you likely are acquainted with what you don’t want, the away-from part. So unless there is a lesson yet to be learned in that, how could you instead tell me more about what you want? In what direction would you prefer to go to support yourself? And from now on, do I have your permission to keep you on track?

Is this okay? How is this possible? It is quite possible and in fact more impactful to coach and be coached without content. Content free. No stories. No history. No explanation, no ego. Content-free coaching goes deeper, is more personal, avoids a vulnerability block, offers personal privacy if that is important, disallows judgment, and takes less time.

To continue here, here is a graphic of a coaching-session conversation, the pink line, as the client in red stages moves along. Above the line is his, her, or their want and vision. Below the line is their been-there, done-that, that which they do not want anymore, or some other benign former this or that. The client begins to go off track into their story, explanation, rationalization, description, or justification of their interpretation.

PtI T and Away no Int


And here is a graphic to show the interrupt.

PtI T and Away w Int


Is the timing understandable? The fall shall not be far. Now, what about the interrupt? The long, in-depth version is above. The next time the client falls off, the coach might use a condensed version.

With your permission, part of my job as your coach is to keep you moving forward toward what you do want, your vision. You’ve begun to stray into what you want to move away from, that which you don’t want. So unless there is useful information in that, tell me more about what you want instead.

The subsequent times, the coach might simply use the reminder version.

So that seems to be what you don’t want. What might you want instead?

It may take repeated reminders to keep the client on track, moving forward in the direction they stated they wanted to go. Some clients are pretty hellbent on their story and persistence is required. After a convincing number of reminders, the client will eventually catch the wind of his, her, or their vision and be lifted up higher and higher. They might change course along the way, and that would be okay. 

PtI line to vision

One may know the rest of the story, the ending in which the vision magically and methodically manifests in their life. If one is spiritual, this phenomena or universal law needs no explanation. If one needs a heady explanation, then an old coat of mine and Solution-Focused Coaching may fit the need.

I have simply used the example of a coach-client conversation here to demonstrate this phenomenon. In truth, one can be one's own coach. One can catch him-, her-, their- self falling off track. Typically one’s story, the explanation, a justification, the assigned meaning has a familiar (repeating), vague (free fall), and slightly off feeling (going down) associated with it. The story usually erupts in one’s head and feels briefly brave as in counting coup but is not within the domain of one’s heart and one’s truth. If one really felt into what was going on, one might feel icky. Icky not a technical term but perhaps understoodable.

Fall not far off course; simply re-focusing on what one wants will negate drama, ego, victimhood or martyrdom. Focusing on the vision is a simple re-direct to a stratosphere that is more useful and positive in thought and feeling. Things will begin manifesting. Things may surprise one until one remembers, “Oh yeah, that’s on track to what I want.” Of course it is, on course.

Daily Sharing


I wish, oh, I wish I knew where I got this. If I had to guess, it might have come from Karla McLaren. My file date of creation is 2008. But I’ve had it way before that because my daughter and I began using it when she was about eleven. And continued to use it as needed throughout her teens. It is a priceless tool for a relationship. Any relationship.

Daily Sharing


We used to sit at the kitchen table. Any spot in your home that is neutral, pleasing, and conducive to connecting is an excellent place to take turns sharing. Sharing means you take turns answering for telling the other your response to each of the six. You could share all six things every day. You could share one a day for six days. You could sit and communicate once a month. Then notice the impact on your relationship.

  1. Express an appreciation about your life, the other person, some thing, a place, an event, or anything good in your life. 
  2. Offer a bit of new information about something you’re feeling, something that happened to you, some new learning, something that you want to share.
  3. Talk about something that puzzles you, an issue you’re trying to understand, a quirky thing someone said to you, a not-quite-complete bit of knowledge.
  4. Talk about something that’s bugging you or irritates you. First, say what is working for you, then make your valid complaint with a request* for change. Explain how you would like this particular thing to change. See below.
  5. Talk about your wishes, hopes, dreams, or anything you'd like to happen to you or how you would like to be regarding anything — school, work, family, friends, etc. It can be a hope for today, for five years from now, or for all time. 
  6. Ask a loved one:  “What do I do that lets you know I love you?”  Or “What do I do that lets you know I care about you?”

 

Request

  1. Committed Speaker — Take the time to face the person, look them in the eye, giving them the fullness of your attention.
  2. Committed Listener — Be present and aware, not engaged in something else.
  3. Future Action — State the future action you desire as precisely as possible.
  4. Time Frame — Ask for an exact time frame, a specific day and time by which your request shall be met.
  5. Conditions of Satisfaction — Explicitly list all requirements in detail that will satisfy your request. If one doesn't state all conditions, it would be easy to blame the other for not fulfilling the request.
  6. Mood of the Request — Notice your emotional state during your request. Notice the emotional state of the listener. If either's emotional status does not seem like it will serve your request, consider asking what is behind the emotion. Or delay your request for another time.
  7. Context and Background — Inform the listener what else is going on or what else has happened in the past so they may have a broad and adequate understanding of the request.
  8. Sincerity — Match what you are saying with what you are thinking and feeling inside.


*   *   *

I am going to add a third part for consideration.

head and heart circle over heart

Draw a circle. Then beneath that draw a heart.  One is one's head; one is one's heart.  

Head is the location of logic, rationalization, justification, explanation, direction, strategies, concrete plans and action. If you express yourself while you are totally in your head, the chances of doing harm are significant. Why? There is no compassion, forgiveness, or empathy in the head. And oh yeah, Ego lives in the head.

Heart contains cells receptive to emoting and emotion and is surrounded by an ultra-sensitive electromagnetic field. Heart is the location of physiologic coherence, congruence sensing, authenticity, compassion, deep knowing, and intuition. If you express yourself while you are totally in your heart, you have no boundaries and no sense of self. While Spiritually being pure Love might be a worthy way of being, on the Earth plane it might not serve you 100% of the time.


head and heart circle on heart

Draw a line between the circle and heart. Then draw an arrow outward. 

The space between one’s head and heart is the place of pure potentiality and omnipotence. One might choose to balance the head and heart. What is born then comes out via the throat, the voice box — the place of free-will and self-expression, full of positive intent.

Anything communicated from a place of balance between head and heart will likely be received well. And if not, then you are accountable for your part only. So, check your balance and be open to simply planting seeds. For now.

Person In Heart




© Kris A Kramer 2021